BREAKING NEWS!!! Facebook is a business!

I heard on the radio this morning that Facebook will be making security changes, and hopes to avoid possible Congressional regulation. CONGRESSIONAL REGULATION?!? Christ! Aren't there bigger problems in this damned country that need tackling? There is a motherfucking hole in the Earth that is spewing oil into the ocean, and people are whining about their privacy on Facebook. Yes, Facebook privacy settings are complicated, but they are also very effective. Oh, and Facebook is a FREE, OPTIONAL service, whose SOLE purpose is to facilitate the sharing of information! Nobody NEEDS to be on Facebook, unless you absolutely have to see how successful, bald or fat all of your old classmates are. I happen to be balding, underpaid and slightly overweight, by the way.

There are many privacy options, learn to use them. Drilling through those settings took me no more than 10 minutes. People spend that amount of time playing fucking Farmville and Bejewled every day. If you are too lazy to do that, fall back on common sense. Remove your most private information. Do you really want everyone from your college to have your cellphone number? No? Then don't fucking put it on Facebook. It might be a good idea to leave off your address also, unless you want to be robbed next time you post "Leaving for Cancun, enjoy the snow!". You also might not want to upload pics of your naked kids. Nobody wants to see them, except for the creeps you don't want seeing them. Avoid posting anything that would mortify you if the whole world saw it. Lie about where you live. Use a secondary email address. Abstain from "Liking" things such as the Nazi party and NAMBLA. Just fucking THINK!

Look, I find it odd that I am defending a corporation with obvious goals towards monetizing its content. They could definitely do things better, and be more up front about their system changes and business goals. I just think people should take some fucking responsibility for controlling their own informational leakage. Is Mark Zuckerberg an ego-maniacal douche? Who knows, maybe. But it's his baby, and we all lined up to pinch its cheeks. I am there by choice, and I do my best to use its services responsibly.

And if there is just one person out there who is bitching about Facebook and also uses Blippy, I am willing to pay $25 to punch them square in the face and then tweet about it.